a childhood epiphany in a fluffy suit.
When I was six, my kindergarten class put on a lively farm animal show. Each child was assigned a different role—some were dogs, chickens, or sheep. I was cast as a cat, and for two weeks, we practiced our lines. I still remember the excitement of wearing that fluffy black suit, whiskers drawn on my face, and taking the stage to recite a poem as the cat. A little girl, playing the farm owner, introduced us, and I couldn’t wait for my parents to see me perform.
The big day came, and we delivered a successful performance. But backstage, my excitement was dampened. My mother knelt down to my level and asked, “Why didn’t you get a bigger role like the farm owner? She had more lines, and you have such a beautiful voice. Why didn’t you ask for that role instead of just being a cat?” Her words, though meant with love, left a lasting impact. I learned that to be accepted, I needed to align with others’ expectations—my parents, teachers, and society at large.
a journey of conformity.
For the next 14 years, I lived according to those expectations. I excelled in various fields—violin, tennis, acting workshops, academics—but on the eve of my 20th birthday, I realized that despite my successes, I hadn’t found the joy I felt as that six-year-old cat. Growing up in Iranian culture, with all its beauty and complexities, added another layer of challenge. We are surrounded by poetry, vibrant stories, and rich traditions, yet there is also a deep-seated fear—one that pushes many towards stable, conventional careers in fields like medicine or engineering. This cultural pressure often leads us to abandon our true desires and follow a path dictated by others’ visions. I had been living through the lens of others, and I wasn’t truly happy.
embracing my true self.
At 20, I reached a turning point. No matter how many times I changed locations or identities, something was missing. That’s when I turned to mindfulness. I began to quiet the conditioned voice in my head, influenced by culture, religion, and fear, and started to reconnect with my authentic self. My journey into mindfulness began with a $400 spiritual retreat, a significant investment for me at the time, but one that marked the start of a profound transformation. I’ve learned that the way we perceive the world shapes our reality. With 8 billion people on this planet, there are 8 billion different realities, each formed by individual experiences. By shifting away from judgment and embracing observation and acceptance, I’ve discovered that life is about allowing and accepting, rather than conforming and resisting.
a decade of transformation.
Over the past decade, I’ve cultivated the tools to manage emotions, regulate myself, and stay true to my authentic heart. Meditation and mindfulness have empowered me to discern whether I’m following my intuition or the world’s perception of me. By quieting my mind, I’ve been able to follow a path that truly aligns with who I am, embracing “The Art of Mindful Living” as a guiding principle.
the cat returns.
During a recent show in New York, I felt an overwhelming sense of reconnection with my true self—the cat had returned. Stronger and more confident, I embraced the joy and authenticity I had long been missing. This journey of rediscovering my true self has been challenging but incredibly rewarding, allowing me to live in alignment with my heart and intuition, embodying the essence of mindful living.
